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feeling better!

Journal Entry: Wed Mar 12, 2014, 11:43 AM

so since my last update i've started on medication to treat my hypothyroidism and i've been feeling significantly better!
my anxiety levels are down immensely and i'm not dizzy all the time. i feel really great now and full of energy!!

i'm relieved that the worst seems to be over. i also accept that since you can't permanently treat hypo that i might rebound, but that's ok because i know ill get through it

thank you everyone for sticking with me, and thank you to those who showed concern. it meant a lot to me and kept me going to know people cared, because i felt hopeless and meaningless at the time. i was in a very deep pit of constant fear, anxiety and depression and i never want to feel that way again.

hopefully i'll be drawing again on a regular basis soon. i've lost a lot of time i could've used to improve, so i'm a few steps back. but that's alright.

i love all of you ;w; thank you so much!

first of all, thank you guys so much for 1,000 watchers! holyyyy wow it means a lot to me

now for some maybe not so great news!!
i've been sick since the first day of 2014 and i'm still not better
i've been to an urgent care center twice and the ER a few days ago
at the moment we think it's my thyroid and anxiety...but i dunno.
i feel so sick all the time, i can hardly function or think properly. i'm scared all the time and so lonely

my arms are so weak and i'm having bad, horrible bouts of derealisation
my anxiety is so overwhelming they prescribed me xanax
i can't really feel my arms that well
it's hard to sleep, it's hard to walk, it's hard much of
... i dunno. i miss being on here and feeling normal.
my thyroid meds should kick in in a week or two or..three. we'll see how i feel
if something happens to me. .. Xallumz will tell you all. so...yeah.
i will be keeping this journal up just in case i feel the urge sometime so you may get surprise giftart rofl

doodles by hunniebuzz

i'm taking some quick doodle requests like these!

a few things tho:
current watchers only!
i'm not going to be drawing every single request
posting multiple characters gives you a higher chance
since they're free i have full artistic freedom
style may be inconsistent
please don't get upset if i don't draw something for you!

i'll do as much as i can and upload them in one big doodle dump

i love you guys!! take this as an apology for the inactivity ;;A;;
i'm tired right now so i'll probably start doodling tomorrow.

happy new year! +updates

Journal Entry: Wed Jan 1, 2014, 10:55 AM

happy new year, everyone! i also hope you had great holidays in the past month. i'm sorry i haven't been on to say something sooner

actually i need to apologize for not responding for days-on-end. i don't really get on my laptop nearly as much as i want to and my ipad is a hassle to deal with on deviantart

i haven't drawn for awhile either. so... that's the inactivity.

if you read about my thumb, it's doing a LOT better! not as sore unless i try to lift something heavy with it... and there's still a bump-- but i can hold my pen!

i've had a lot of severe side, back and leg pain and it hurts to sit for too long... ugh health problems in general.

to make up for it i may be opening sketch requests soon, but i can't promise that yet.

i digress, i'm REALLY sorry for the lack of updates but i'll try to make up for it this year. i miss all of you so much!

i'm looking to get more people on my friend safari for pokemon!!/vwv\

my FC is 4811-7739-4643

feel free to add me, just tell me your friend code when you do

if anyone's curious, my friend safari for pokemon is ice type with spheal / sneasel / lapras!

i also JUST GOT MY SHINY EEVEE LAST NIGHT AA my girlfriend hatched him for me, but now we're drowning in eggs so
if you want an eevee. just ask
she also has a lot of froakies from hatching for her shiny froakie vwv;; a lot of them have protean!

also if anyone's?? interested. i have pokerus on some of my pokemon
i can give it to any pokemon and hand it over to you if you'd like it too

some updates

Journal Entry: Sun Sep 22, 2013, 10:57 AM

I haven't exactly written a journal in awhile, soo

i haven't been uploading as much lately because i have little to no motivation to draw!
soo i haven't picked my tablet up in a day or two. i doodle on paper from time to time but nothing i'd like to upload

i've been playing animal crossing with my best friend and girlfriend .w. pungafruit and Xallumz
still playing skyrim lol no change there
uhm. vwv;; i dunno

i haven't even been starting up my laptop lately so i'm sorry for not talking to you all...
i want to be friends but i have a really hard time being social *v*;; but i promise if you talk to me i'll talk back
and i'm sorry if i randomly stop because i forget to reply sometimes but you can keep messaging me vwv
i have a really private skype that i'm pretty nervous to give out to... anyone really but if i feel comfortable enough around you i can add you? ;w;' i'm on it on my ipad so i can't reply immediately though

soo yea
i suppose if you read this thank you and
i MAY be considering requests soon to break out of my art block and to give back to you guys. c:>
here's to hoping that'll happen, but i'll try my hardest because it's something i've wanted to do for awhile!

i love you all and thank you so much!!

Commissions [CLOSED]

Journal Entry: Fri Jun 7, 2013, 10:05 AM


6/7;; new, clear journal! \;v;/
I'm bored and really uninspired art wise so i figured i'd do some commissions.
I'm opening pixel commissions so I can get some practice with them, too. uvub


Do not complain about the prices, please!
I will fluctuate my prices to how I feel comfortable.
You may ask for up to 3 characters.
Send your payment when I accept you.
NOTE ME or COMMENT HERE with your request.
This is NOT first come first serve. If I feel like I can't complete your request, I will decline.
Fill out the form, please.




(or at least just give me this info, haha)
Style ;; (a, b, c)
Reference ;; (a CLEAR picture, please!)
Extras ;; (POSE IDEAS? if you don't give me any they'll probably just be standing there... orz Personalities? Other things?
I can add a pattern to your shading-- hearts, dots, etc. If you'd like something like this, please specify.
also, please specify if you want an animation or not for style C, and what you'd like it to be!)
Payment ;; (points or paypal)

ᴇxᴀᴍᴘʟᴇ A

price 1000 :points: / 10USD [always shaded]

sparkling curiosity by hunniebuzz

ᴇxᴀᴍᴘʟᴇ B

price 500 :points: / 5USD [never shaded]

gifts by hunniebuzz

ᴇxᴀᴍᴘʟᴇ C

price 500 :points: / 5USD static | 600 :points: / 5USD animated [lightly shaded]
i'm really bad at pixels so order at your own risk-- characters with a lighter palette will turn out a LOT better!

floaty! by hunniebuzz

Simple art trades? [CLOSED]

Journal Entry: Thu May 9, 2013, 5:17 PM

updates5/10 i'm going to keep trying to open art trades for a bit! ;v;
this will be mostly an experiment-- i'm usually VERY uncomfortable taking art trades
but the last batch went alright, so if I can keep up then I'll keep opening them.


Hey guys ;v;/

I haven't drawn much the past few days so I figured I'd add some stuff to my to do list.
I want to do art trades!

What I'm looking to do is SIMPLE ART TRADES.
Basically I'm offering my style as of late;;
[AT] Hichimon by hunniebuzz [AT] Tala10 by hunniebuzz [AT] Frosty-Kitteh by hunniebuzz

They'll be mostly like those.
The general rule is that I will be doing loosely lined, shaded, with a transparent bg.
I'm doing this because when I do art trades, I stress out because I'm not sure what people want in return. unu;;
So I'm just gonna go ahead and offer a style so I can actually do some. I hope that's okay with you guys.
You're allowed to do WHATEVER you think is equal to that ;v;b
Be it traditional, lineart, fully colored, shaded, not shaded, background or no... it's up to you.

When you comment, please tell me if you prefer to draw humans or animals!
You're also free to choose which character you want to draw of mine.
If you want a specific one, please tell me♥

This is FIRST COME, FIRST SERVED. I will accept everyone that asks
as long as I think I can draw your character!



commissions [CLOSED]

Journal Entry: Sun Apr 7, 2013, 7:41 PM


6/6;; nothing atm lol.


Do not complain about the prices, please!
I will fluctuate my prices to how I feel comfortable.
You may ask for up to 5 characters.
Send your payment when I accept you.
NOTE ME or COMMENT HERE with your request.
This is NOT first come first serve. If I feel like I can't complete your request, I will decline.
Fill out the form, please.




(or at least just give me this info, haha)
Style ;; (a, b, c)
Reference ;; (a CLEAR picture, please!)
Extras ;; (POSE IDEAS? if you don't give me any they'll probably just be standing there... orz Personalities? Other things?
I can add a pattern to your shading-- hearts, dots, etc. If you'd like something like this, please specify.
also, please specify if you want an animation or not for style C, and what you'd like it to be!)
Payment ;; (points or paypal)

ᴇxᴀᴍᴘʟᴇ A

price 1000 :points: / 10USD [always shaded]

sparkling curiosity by hunniebuzz

ᴇxᴀᴍᴘʟᴇ B

price 500 :points: / 5USD [never shaded]

gifts by hunniebuzz

ᴇxᴀᴍᴘʟᴇ C

price 500 :points: / 5USD static | 600 :points: / 5USD animated [lightly shaded]
i'm really bad at pixels so order at your own risk-- characters with a lighter palette will turn out a LOT better!

floaty! by hunniebuzz

Adoptable help?

Journal Entry: Thu Mar 7, 2013, 1:14 AM

Hi guys! I need a bit of help ;u;

I'm trying to get myself off of my hiatus, so I'm gonna be opening commissions and... possibly making some adoptables!

I need to give myself some structure and responsibility so this would really help me.

My issue is... I have no idea where to START.

I'll only be doing feral characters, as I'm more comfortable with that.

I have a set in progress.
I'm pretty confident that they're unique.
I'm NOT using bases.

I was thinking about a 80 :points: price.

Now here's my biggest question...

Can anyone get me into groups or something or help advertise me when I finally do post my first set?

This is really important to me... All day I lay around exhausted and unmotivated. If I can do this, even a little bit... it'll give me something to wake up and work at. I just... feel... useless.



if not, that's cool! i love you all just the same


Journal Entry: Sun Jan 27, 2013, 9:23 AM

I suppose I'm going on a sort of unintentional hiatus?

I don't mean to, but I haven't been drawing much or around DA at all for that matter.

To start, I guess you could say I'm having some health issues.

Some of you may know I have Diabetes-- and if you don't, well now you do. It's horrible, I hate it, sometimes I just don't want to be alive anymore but you gotta just keep going, you know?

Recently my doctors refused me my medication!
So I'm off meds. That help me.
In other words I'm iffy on how my health is going to fluctuate and if and when I'll get my meds again.

I hate talking about this, but someone has to know.

Besides that I just haven't been drawing enough. I have some doodles that I may post in scraps but otherwise I probably won't be posting at all.

The past few months I've been in fandoms and such that inspired me to draw but currently I'm not residing in one. I'm focusing on my own characters, ones more personal to me which I'm reluctant to share.

I literally have 0% passion for art.
And I don't really have any to begin with?? So I don't know where I stand.

Usually I don't feel like drawing a lot, and lately I'm not even THINKING about it.

I know the need to draw will spark up again but whether or not I post it is the thing.

I digress...

If anyone needs to contact me, please note me!
I'll get to that quicker than anything else.

I love you all-- I really do! Thanks for sticking with me.
It means the world to me-- more than you can imagine. ♥


Journal Entry: Fri Jan 18, 2013, 10:50 AM

updates on... my life, i guess?? hahah

feel free to not read this. aaand there'll be some pictures =v=b cause i wanted to use my camera.

also if any of you have XBL or PSN you should add me!
XBL; darkumz / hunniebuzz (i have two accounts uvu;)
PSN; hunniebuzz

TL;DR i got some stuff and had fun with my friends this week wooop


so... the past week for me has been pretty eventful i guess

i've been on and off the computer, and the past few days pungafruit was visiting mine and Xallumz's house. uvu

i'll start off with earlier though


my laptop decided to give me a present one morning

a wonderful surprise really
i'm super upset over it. this isn't MY laptop per say, it's my girlfriend's. we share 100% of our belongings so I use it too.
It was her birthday present from her dad, back in August.

We aren't sure HOW it cracked, and it's still pretty usable but it's obviously growing and I'm worried. Screens are expensive-- this screen is HUGE, and it was an expensive laptop.
The worst part is this isn't the first time my girlfriend's laptop screen has cracked. HP told us to our faces that the screens are faulted and can crack just from opening and closing, but they still take it out of the warranty. If you ask about cracked screens, they immediately VOID your warranty.

We aren't sure how to remedy this?? We don't want to tell him and get him upset but it's getting tiring having to baby this laptop and keep it out of range from our cat 24/7.

aside from that, things have been wonderful.
I haven't had such a great week for awhile. I've had some energy problems, and I keep waking up really early and not being able to go back to sleep. Otherwise, it's great.

I've tried to pick up crocheting!
I've only been doing it for like, 2 days... but
I've been making scarves and collars and crap for my plushies


ahh i also had some pretty awesome holidays
my girlfriend's dad has pretty much adopted me
he doesn't know we're dating? but
he treats me like his own and he got me christmas presents!

a bunch of jewelry and as i was unwrapping suDDENLY IPAD??

i mean
he got one for her too, and we were like entirely confused


i'm so so grateful though!! i've found a couple uses for it and i LOVE it. i would have never thought of asking for one ever, but i appreciated it wholeheartedly and i love it to death.

the best part though...

he usually gets one piece of good expensive jewelry every year
this year he got me one too!

jewelrys nice and i would've appreciated it a lot

but when i opened it i almost

he got me a FOX BRACELET
like a GORGEOUS fox bracelet, and I LOVE IT
i've been wearing it so much!

i collect foxes and seeing this was such a treat
the funniest part is he has no clue i love foxes so much??
it was a totally random guess

it's beautiful and perfect and every time i see it it makes me smile.
it makes me so happy ;-;

i digress!

earlier this week pungafruit came over
my mom had sent me two checks for my birthday and christmas and we had to go out of our way to get it cashed, since my bank account was closed since i have no money orz
after going about an hour away to do that
we decided to go to a mall
that was about another hour away??

pungafruit has only been driving for a few years
so we had some ISSUES
including her turning in the middle of a four lane without a TURN SIGNAL
because she got nervous

BUT we got there in one piece
and i got these babies

i also got a deadpool keychain that i forgot to take a picture of cause i can't find my purse but it's amazing amsdgsg ♥

and then i took them out to dinner because they are perfect and my best friends in the whole wide world uvu

we also got quite a few games
like Borderlands 2, Kingdoms of Amalur: Reckoning, Silent Hill: Downpour (GOOD GAME YES.), Dishonored, Infamous, Arkham City, Shadow of Colossus, Silent Hill 4 and Neopets: The Darkest Faerie SHH NOSTALGIA.

so yeah
that's what i've been up to!!

i'm not sure when i'll be on regularly again

or uploading things for that matter??
i've drawn a few things but i'm a bit embarrassed to upload them uggh
i'll probably decide that later

if you read all that i appreciate that you'd take time to read my rambling ;v;

Raffle winners!

Journal Entry: Tue Jan 8, 2013, 7:25 AM

Hey guys! ;v;/

I wasn't sure if/when I'd be on later so I decided to go ahead and do this now while I'm up and wide awake!!

Ok, there were 25 people who entered.
I used to generate the numbers
aaaand the results are

which are...

SO congrats to
:iconyukiin: and :iconstarlightzs: !!!

if you suddenly find yourself with 500 more points

THAT IS WHY. lol I'll go ahead and note you anyways but yeah.

This went pretty well, so I'll hold another at a later date!
The next one will only be for watchers before I start it though,
because I really want to show you all how much I love you ;v;

Hope you have a great day guys!


1000 points giveaway raffle thing! [REMINDER]

Journal Entry: Tue Dec 25, 2012, 6:08 PM

[UPDATE] this'll end tomorrow guys! if i... remember that is orz
if i don't go ahead and bug me
otherwise it'll probably be somewhere between 4-7 CST!


Happy Holidays everyone!
I'm a little late on this... I know--
I really want to give back to all of you for being so wonderful. So I've decided to do a raffle!

As long as you're watching me, anyone can enter! This is to show my appreciation for you so please don't be shy. ;3;
( pungafruit and Xallumz won't be entering-- that just wouldn't be fair.  pfft)

I'm not entirely sure how to do this... sooo. I guess I'll wing it.

The Prizes;
- 500 :points: EACH for two winners
- If I get more than 30 entries, I'll also give away a three month membership!! uvu / ( i doubt i'll get that much though?? )

To Enter;
- Favorite this journal!
- You have to be watching me! I will check. (New watchers count, I guess, but I won't take kindly to you just watching me for free points.)
- Your account has to be more than 2 weeks old.

The deadline is January 8th ( that's 2 weeks! ), and I'll be using this to pick out the winners!
I'll post a reminder during the weekend uvu~

If this goes well I'll do another one sometime!

am i missing anything....?
i don't think so

i accidentally put june.
that's what i did. whoops.

Thank you!

Journal Entry: Fri Dec 14, 2012, 4:06 PM

Thank you all so much for the birthday wishes aaah, it made me so happy ;V; I appreciate it so much!

So ... yeah.
I'm 20 now I guess haha.

I had a great week with my friends. I appreciate everything they did for me and it made everything so wonderful!

I think the best thing of the week was that we found a working N64 WITH the cords and a controller for 15$ at a thrift store! I don't know what happened to mine from when I was little...? But now I have one. uvu

Ahh but I digress! Played lots of Fallout and had a good time. c:

Aaand since I actually drew something today I guess I'm off my hiatus! A better day than any other I think, not to mention I forgot how much I had missed drawing haha.

So... yeah! I love you guys ahh ; v;

ALSO guys I
was able to commission ButtBear who is like my favorite artist ever ok??
so LOOK i'm gonna cry ugh
best birthday present ever orz

Sorry for inactivity!

Journal Entry: Fri Nov 23, 2012, 11:00 PM

I'm so sorry guys.

I went to my mom's house a few weeks ago and... I'll spare you the details.

I haven't been on much nor have I drawn at all. I doodled... once maybe, but otherwise I haven't drawn for a few weeks.

I'm not sure when I'll post anytime soon. My confidence is wavering and I've been avoiding social contact again-- I'm going through a rough spot. Consider it a mini hiatus, I suppose.

I'll be around though! So feel free to shoot me a note to contact me if you'd like. ; v;

If I can get back into the groove of drawing I want to keep some things personal to myself for a bit.

I'd like to practice new things and go outside of my comfort zone even more... and draw some Fallout fanart.

Happy late Thanksgiving, I hope everyone who celebrated it had a wonderful time!

ohoh, and thank you sooz for texting me on thanksgiving. ;w;'' it really brightened up my morning but i never got around to texting back orz i was cooking all day..

And hello to my new watchers! ; v; Thank you, and I love you guys!

happy halloween!

Journal Entry: Wed Oct 31, 2012, 8:34 AM

i hope everyone has fun today, whatever you end up doing--

and i hope everyone that's dealing with the hurricane stays safe~ ♥

as for me personally,
i'm watching Raycheekinz play Silent Hill 3 right now! *7*
I tried downloading Resident Evil 2 as a ROM to play while she played but
the computer...screeched these horrible noises at me ahaha SO UM

Yeah not doing that
Maybe later when she's done with SH3...

We're also handing out candy tonight. Aand... not dressing up really. Haha we're so boring. D:
Considering going to the movies but I dunno, it's too expensive anyway. akflsdgsdg

Feel free to tell me what you're up to! I'm up for talking cause I'm not doing anything right now, nor will I be for awhile.
Trick or treating starts around 5 I think here so we won't have anyone to pass stuff out to for a few more hours.

i'm actually free next week!!

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 30, 2012, 10:13 AM

warning:: family stuff and sort of abuse you have been warned
i also apologize for whining so much
you really don't have to read this, it just feels good to let it out. ;v; ♥

EDIT:: i talked to the therapist and they see in a complete gray just like i do, rather black and white. he's actually fairly smart and didn't treat me like i'm 13 so i'm glad about that.
i may end up going down, but i'm not entirely sure how i feel yet. we'll seee..

remember that thing about going to my mom's?!

yeah! funny story actually

i'm not going.

i just called her because he wanted to say something about game systems but he wasn't home,
soo we ended up talking about the shrink he's been going to lately.

i normally wouldn't make this journal
but i am just
so upset right now
i don't even know what to do with myself.

roughly three-four years ago...

Xallumz and me were in the kitchen... doing... i don't know, probably getting food. my brother comes along.

something happened-- i don't remember what but it was a blur, and i think i joked and he got mad.

he shoved me against the kitchen sink...and. well my brother's a big buy. he's over 6 foot and roughly 300 pounds so i was terrified.

i smacked him. lightly mind you, i was pinned, so i couldn't do much else.

he went into a fit of rage, grabbed me by my fucking neck and THREW me on the ground. IN FRONT OF MY GIRLFRIEND.

i screamed and cried-- i didn't really know what else to do, it was a call of help from my mom and she usually comes rushing to noises like that, so she did.

he got angry, faked like he was leaving the house and stomped out.

he just went for a walk to calm down and came right back and everybody acted like nothing happened!

i forgot about it. forgave him. his EXCUSE was one of his friends died or something so i guess that gave him the right to lash out at me for no reason.

that all aside, apparently the subject was brought up to his therapist.

now let me note.

when i was at my mom's house. my word was the reason he is living there and not in a homeless shelter. MINE. i offered him kindness, friendship, i consoled him and made sure he was okay and promised i'd protect him as much as i could.

he's my brother! i love him and i've looked up to him for as long as i remember so why wouldn't i offer him all of my kindness and love?? i'd never seen him so beaten down in my life.

he tells this therapist.

that i. TOOK A KNIFE. to him. and that's why he hurt me.

he claims it was self defense.

even though xal was right there. WATCHING.

oh and the greeeeated part is that my brother is the biggest fucking liar in the world and this guy actually believes him.

he permits him to sit around all day on his ass and do nothing while my mother whom is 50+ years old with MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS DOES ALL THE WORK AROUND THE HOUSE.

she can't feel her fingers or feet and she has trouble walking. stress makes her get worse. she's tired all the time. she also has hypothyroidism, and she's depressed to boot.

and now i'm being dragged into this mess again. and now i have to talk to his therapist. TO BACK MYSELF UP.

see-- i have anxiety attacks a lot. i can't sleep a lot because of them.
talking to people like that sends me over the edge and makes me sick.

i don't want to talk to this asshole but he's obviously an amateur without any common sense if he's throwing trust in this man.

mason is a good ass liar and knows when to put on a show when it's needed. that's how he's fucking 25 and hasn't worked to keep himself up a day in his life!

i'm. SO. TIRED.

i just don't want to deal with this anymore

it makes me sick. like i see people complain about oh boo hoo my mommy is making me do chores. yeah that's great i'd do chores 24/7 if it meant having a stable happy family again.

i miss my dad.

i need help.

The next two or three weeks

Journal Entry: Sat Oct 27, 2012, 6:11 AM
  • Mood: Content

Okay first of all since my journal's not on my page anymore I gave up and just went and downloaded a different one lol.


For the next two to three weeks, I'll be a little less active.
Mine and Xallumz's dear friend, Raycheekinz is coming up to our town to visit which she rarely gets to do because of family and work.

But after that, we're going down near her town because I...
am going to visit my mom again.
I'm not excited about it, but she is. She seems so happy to talk to me on the phone, and keeps saying I need to come back.

It's horrible-- she always gets so excited and happy, and then as the days go on she gets bitchy and controlling. I'm not sure how long I'll be able to last there this time.

I digress.

My birthday is also on a Friday this year-- which most likely means Rachel won't be able to stay the night for that day... so I'm planning on celebrating it when we get there, too. I'm happy about that idea because I'm HOPING there won't be snow.
I despise snow beyond reasonable amounts. \: I already miss summer.

So yeah, that's basically it-- if I don't reply to you quickly or don't submit things or what have you, I'm probably out doing things.

If you took the time to read this, I'll take the time to tell you that I'm openly doing sketch requests right now.
VERY sketchy, drawn with sharpie, picture taken with a camera. So they aren't spectacular and I draw in whatever style I want. orz

If you go on Gaia, go post your stuff here or you can feel free to post a request here but I'm not 100% sure I'll do it, considering these are sketches to loosen me up. I've gotten very stale with drawing over the past few weeks.

Oh! And last thing--
Thanks to Steam, I now own every single Assassin's Creed game. <:D
So... yep. Still playing Skyrim though...

this can't be good

Journal Entry: Tue Oct 23, 2012, 2:22 PM
  • Mood: Delighted

i am



i know how to make npcs now

and i've made two

basically i started playing my khajiit whom i ship with Xallumz's bosmer, silia, and decided hey he needs his waifu
so i made her to be his follower and marry him and stuff

like it's weird turning around and seeing the characters my friends play right behind me

i even just put my other khajiit, m'inerri in as an npc in the inn at dawnstar because i headcanon she lives there. because of the... sanctuary and all that. :>

god guys i just have so many skyrim feels.
you don't.